Added: Kenan Headen - Date: 22.10.2021 12:15 - Views: 20926 - Clicks: 3309
No matter how different our sexual pasts may be, few things bring us together quicker than sharing those times when things went horribly awry in the bedroom. Stories of others' awkward, bizarre, or generally catastrophic mishaps prove that no matter how much practice we've had, we're all just improvising when it comes to mushing our body parts together recreationally. Cackling at our sexy misadventures is both cathartic and validating in a strange way, but don't worry if you don't have any girlfriends nearby to swap bad sex stories with.
We've rounded up some real gems to jumpstart your personal healing. He begged me to clean out my vagina after sex.
After calming him down, I went out and got Plan B like a sane person. The next day in the acting class where we met, he decided to retell that story as part of our stand-up Horrible sex stories improv to a group of seven people who all knew it was about me. When I got to his apartment, hockey was all he wanted to talk about, and he even asked if I wanted to try on his p before I ed him in bed. He then instructed me how to help him hold his foot while he snapped his hip back into the socket while we were both greased up and naked.
Unable to move, he asked me to bring him a Vicodin before requesting that I leave. He tried to get our friends to have a threesome with us. His honest-to-god, legitimate plan was to surprise me with whoever agreed just showing up in our bedroom the night of. He made the grave mistake of attempting Surprise Anal, which was such a surprise that I leaned forward I was on top and punched him in the face with all my body weight.
He walked around campus with a black eye for about a week while making up some story about a rugby injury to anyone who asked. Imagine that but with an ice cube stuck to my labia. We thought it'd be fun to try, but it was the most excruciating 90 seconds of my life. We hit it off immediately. When we were finally alone, we started getting hot and heavy.
I was lying on the couch and he climbed on top of me like a woman, legs wrapped around my hips. He then proceeded to pull some kind of Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill move, pushing his junk between his legs trying to penetrate me. Not a soul in sight It was SO obvious what was transpiring in our car and there was no way to disentangle ourselves before the trucks passed. To my eternal mortification, we got a truck air horn salute from yelling and waving airmen. That was all the foreplay he had in his arsenal. Then later, after I blew him, he attempted to try to get himself hard again by beating his dick on my vagina while he was between my legs.
What a gentleman. One night I went to the bathroom and when I turned on the light she was there, bending over the sink, and a girl was behind her getting ready Horrible sex stories penetrate her with a strap-on. To this day, I'm still not sure what happened, but I've definitely knocked before entering any bathroom anywhere ever since. I vomited on his penis.
So I threw up on his dick and left. The end. in. YourTango Experts.
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These 40 NSFW Cringeworthy Stories of the Worst Sex People Have Had Will Make You Shudder Uncontrollably